Part of his diary (h/t to AboveTheLaw)
August 3, 2009: I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day.Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach works.
Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them.
I will try not to add anymore entries because this computer clicking distracts me.
This is the result of Christianity. Of all religions. This.
2 comments:
Wow.
Not sure if that is actually, strictly speaking, 'Christian violence' ( according to what I think that term means) but that IS a very interesting, and disturbing quote.
Although I don't share your athesism and am a very happy catholic, I do identify with much of the eye rolling cynicism about 'christianity' that I am reading on your blog.
One of my very best friends is a midwife, like me. She's delivered my babies, and I've delivered hers.
When they were looking for Olivias heartbeat I had my eyes tightly shut, when they told me she had died I opened my eyes and my friends weeping face was the first thing I saw. I will never forget how poleaxed she looked.
I was grateful that it meant enough to her to evoke such a response.
In the days that followed she was the most intuitive, the most kind, the most reassuring company for me.
I don't know a bigger hearted person.
She is an atheist, and I, of course, am passionately commited to my faith.
She sat up front at the funeral with her husband and children, a little tribe of heathens all and sobbed quietly into a tissue.
A neighbour of mine meanwhile, who led the bible study I had gone to for years, discouraged the other women from attending because it was in a catholic church. She shunned the funeral herself and loftily told me ( 2 weeks later) how she, believing the "truth to be very important" could "not abide standing in a church that prays for dead people".
Ironically, her helpful information proved the catalyst that saw me return to the bosom of babylon, I mean Rome.
This quote you provide here is another reminder of why I am happy to be a 'faith AND works' heathen catholic.
Oh, and I love your 'proud catholic' blinkie in the sidebar. No doubt it's meant to be ironic, but I heartily approve nonetheless.
Lastly, you write very well.
Thank you for the compliment. I was well inspired that night.
Actually the blinkie isn't meant to be ironic. I do consider myself culturally a Catholic. My in-laws are very Catholic, and we still go to mass with them when they are around, my husband works at the local Catholic hospital, and we do most of our volunteer work through the local parish. This after growing up in an Catholic family, in a Catholic community, and 12 years of Catholic school. And the last four of those were boarding at a convent school. Although I neither believe in "God" or that the bible is anything but fiction, I've been known to lap a meditative rosary from time to time, even now.
On the other hand, I cannot and will not be a part of the current church, even though our local priest would allow it. (I am still baptized and confirmed, and have never formally renounced anything. Yes, when I do go to mass I do not take communion, out of respect for everyone else's beliefs.) As much as I consider Fr. M. A good friend, and that on the local level a church can do much good, I cannot abide by or support some of the actions of the current church or Pope. But, I've written about that more than once, It's all back there somewhere.
I am so sorry about your daughter. I've lost five myself, I know how much that can hurt. I hope you find peace.
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