Thursday, February 09, 2012

Tommy Jordan rants on Facebook

So someone on my Facebook page shared a video.

For the record, I'm not a 15 year old girl. I'm 40, been married for 12 years, have a college degree, spent 8 years as a teacher and 4 years before that working with kids in the foster care system.

Mr. Jordan, you're wrong.

1) Assuming you're right, you're not expecting too much of this girl. Taking care of her own laundry and cleaning up her own room is not too much, neither is sweeping the floor once a day or emptying the dishwasher or even washing dishes. However she's not ranting about that and you said that she has a little brother and a step-mother. My first question is, is your older daughter having to clean up after her little brother all afternoon, and second, what's going on at your ex-wife's house? You might want to be absolutely certain before you say these things publicly. You sound like a hard-working man so I assume you're off at work all day which means you don't know what's going on between her and her step-mother. And you don't know what's going on at your ex-wife's house. If she really is legitimately staying up until 10 to get homework and chores done (not just fooling around on line) there is a problem. Check before you get your dander up.

Also, get up and get your own coffee.

2) Kids have ranted off about their parents since there were such things as kids and parents. Your child whines on Facebook to her friends? Grow a thicker hide. Why does what a fifteen year old say effect your self-esteem so much? Respect needs to be earned, and in my experience the man who runs around whining that a fifteen year old girl doesn't respect him probably doesn't deserve it. And no, being her biological father doesn't make it an automatic, I've known far too many god-awful biological parents to buy that one anymore. All it means is that you had sex with her biological mother one night without a condom. Past that you have to earn it because she didn't ask to be here.

3) You're complaining about having to buy her things. Fine. Stop. Either start paying her for extra chores around the house or your business or she'll have to go get a job for them. Extra chores include shoveling fertilizer in your garden and working in your clinic. Also, every single thing she does for what I assume to be her step-brother. If you're going to give her things out of the goodness of your heart then they are gifts and you don't get to complain about the gratitude of the giftee.

4) Language. Get over it. It sounds like you have a pretty decent kid there, one who isn't running around with a wild crowd getting in all sorts of serious trouble. Using words like "shit" and "ass" are not going to end the world. I've had kids call me a cunting bitch to my face and they still turned out okay. Also, how many times did you say "shit" and "ass" in this video?

5) There is nothing wrong with having a list to keep track of your chores. I keep lists to keep track of my chores. Stop making her feel bad because she needs a list and try helping her learn how to keep track of her time and commitments. Teaching works better than shaming, even though it can take time to get through a thick teen-age skull.

And now for the big one.

6) Shooting your daughter's laptop? Of all the terrifying, childish stunts! As a gun owner I have to say that you don't deserve to be a gun owner, that is the most ridiculously dangerous thing I have seen in years. Shooting anything that close to the house and that close to a road is ridiculously dangerous. Outside of every other concern I have with this video, if you're going to do it at least take it to a proper range and do it safely.

For another that's a threat of violence, if I was your daughter I would be terrified of your right now. If I was your neighbor I would call CPS for making that kind of a violent threat. That was deeply. deeply foolish and I hope your ex-wife steps in and says something.

In short I find that you are acting like a spoiled, whining brat yourself, hardly a good role model. Go ahead and ground her if you want, but I suggest trying some time with her or maybe some counseling first. Believe me, it will help.

Good luck.