I just posted a response to The Brave Lass, aka Kamilla, in response to this post here. Primarily in response to this paragraph.
Tonight I am also considering those who say hierarchy is unnecessary and even harmful in close relationships like marriage. But look what happens when two likes come together in the demonic parody of marriage called pseudogamy. When two men come together . . . well, they can't. Whatever they do physically, even emotionally can never, ever create the one-flesh relationship that comes of the act of marriage. The same with two women. And the vacuum created by two likes repelling each other in very real, if not always apparent, ways is a recipe for violence.
We've all heard the lie that complementarian theology causes, or at least encourages, abuse. Now if you believe that and you think two equals, or two likes, coming together in marriage is a good thing, you best not visit any city ER. Especially not in the wee hours after the clubs close.
She chose to delete my reply, which, as it is her blog, is her right. Sadly, I didn't copy that reply, my bad there. So I'll reply to her here instead.
Given the nature of your writing it is clear that you come from a very sheltered background. I would be surprised to find out that you know anyone who is openly gay, much less anyone who is both openly gay and openly married. So I am deeply offended by your trying to paint every single homosexual relationship as violent.
You are wrong.
Most homosexual marriages I know are loving and long-lasting. I only hope my marriage can be as strong and last as long as they have.
My husband works in an urban ER. He has, in the past, worked the night shift. I have, at times, volunteered there with him, at the front desk, checking in people coming in after the clubs close, looking for help. I have some experience in these matters, and let me tell you from that experience, the vast majority of people coming in because a spouse or a lover beat them are not homosexual. Or egalitarian. Or a list of other things. They are conservative, evangelical Christians.
"I had to beat her, she wouldn't mind me. The Lord said she was to mind me and she didn't mind me." never came out of the mouth of a homosexual. Of any stripe.
Any hierarchical system where the equal value of each member is not learned from childhood is ripe for abuse. Any system that makes someone the other based on their gender, or sexuality, or skin color, or any other reason is ripe for abuse. Any system that accuses another group for all the evil in the world while taking no responsibility for their own actions (Because
And in my experience, any relationship where the adults do not take active control of their sexuality will end up being abusive, or come close to it, at some point. This rarely happens in homosexual relationships. It tends to happen with disturbing frequency in Christian ones.
The definition of the word transference is
The redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object.
In my experience it can be applied to the Christian community, when they accuse another group of doing or feeling exactly what they tend to do or feel. Now, you may very well not. I do not assume that you do feel or think that way. I think you are just parroting what you have heard from your elders. This might give you thought to where they are coming from.
Stop it. Just stop it.
Get up from your chair, walk out the church doors, and learn something about the world. Then give us your opinion on things.