I really try not to do memes

But everyone I know has hit this one...

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie. Or from your own memory.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.
5. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
6. Those who guess correctly have to do the Meme next! (This you don't have to do if you don't want to).

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1) Speaker 1: It could be worse.
[creature growls]
Speaker 2: It's worse.

2) We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

3) There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

4) Amazing how you can do without the essentials of life, so long as you have the luxuries.

5) But the worst mistake you made...empty gun rack.

6) Personally, I'd give us one chance in three. More tea anyone?

7) By the way... you have to *ask* for absolution to be forgiven... asshole.

8) He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism.

9) I'm never gonna get paid.

10) It's coffee time! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee! Cappuccino, java, YES!

11) Now I want yous all to cheer like Protestants!

12) Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.

13) Do you not know that in the service one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?

14) Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!

15) Laugh it up, fuzzball.

Still trying to absorb

This.

http://junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-think-therefore-i-am-part-three.html

And the idea that discrimination leads to bad health due to stress levels. Especially this sentence...

Children living in the most socially disadvantaged settings (poor, minority, low-education and without parents) have four times the risks of poor health, regardless of health insurance and access to healthcare. One study of Canadian children, ages 6 to 10, found that those from low socioeconomic families had significantly higher stress cortisol levels than same-age children from high socioeconomic families.

High cortisol levels. As in Cushing's syndrome, or Pseudo-Cushing's syndrome. She's arguing, I believe, that obesity in and of itself doesn't lead to health issues, it's the increased stress due to discrimination based on obesity.

Or on being Jack's red-headed stepchild, the supposed lesbian, who's not really a woman under those clothes. And so on, and on. After all the lies he told about me to isolate me, is it any wonder I was discriminated against, on top of being discriminated for being fat and living in California. Up to and including crappy health care that let to my back problems now.

I still need to get my back fixed, but now that I'm in a better place, and head space, well the possibilities could be endless.

I want to learn

The joy of being a housewife is that at least until the kids come around, your time is really your own.

The problem is figuring out what you want to do with it.

I've been thinking over the idea of making a "life list", and ongoing list of things I'd like to do before I die. So far I have...

Knit myself real, honest to god socks, in a week or less. Be that kind of good.
Knit myself a sweater. Actually finish a project that big. Twice, so I know it wasn't a fluke.
Knit a bridal lace shawl. One of these will do nicely.
Learn to speak another language, not Spanish and not Italian. French? Arabic? Portuguese?
Learn to play piano.
Learn to cook really good Chinese food.
See the Alhambra
Drive through New England, and see Williamsburg and Boston.
Tour England.
Visit Tel Aviv, just to see what it's really like.
Ride a motorcycle.

I have no doubt more will be added.

At the moment I'm looking at this list, and looking at my current yarn bill. Lace scarf pattern, $6.00 (Start small),...needles for two-at-a-time sock pattern and sock yarn, $9.78....yarn for a sweater vest, enough for a whole project at once (still starting small), $32.23...kit for a travel sewing kit, $14.90

Being convinced your dreams, even if they aren't big ones, deserve the investment...yea, priceless. You knew that was coming.

Just to make it quite clear

Everyone involved with the role play thing I posted about down there had been quite wonderful about it all. We're all trying to be helpful and accommodating, and trying to make it work so everyone has fun. I'm not knocking the sweetheart's player, or the one who is with him, or his administrative assistant there (she knows who she it)they've put a lot of effort into it all and I am very grateful.

But this is my blog, and I will share my opinion.

And in my opinion it's like trying to plan a vacation among friends when someone's two year old twins are having a tantrum in the middle of the room. You're trying to figure out how to have fun, hell even the planning is supposed to be fun, you've got the munchies and the bottle of wine and the maps and guide books, but these two year old twins are whining and screaming and carrying on and on and on...and eventually Mom and Dad have to take the two year old twins home and put thm to bed, thereby giving them *exactly* the attention they want. Which is the right thing, maybe, I suppose, but it does leave the childless couple, the husband and I, rather stuck. Our party this evening has been ruined, and since the two year old twins tends to start screaming every time their parents take their attention away, even to talk on the phone, it makes planning the vacation darn near impossible. And yes, at this point it looks like the twins will be coming along on the vacation with us.

At which point the husband looked at me and said the equivalent of "I know they're your friends, I like their company too, but you know they won't get a babysitter, and do you really want to put up with that? No hard feelings to them, they have to do what they think is right, but why don't we just go on this vacation just the two of us instead."

Now, I'm sitting here trying to keep everyone involved and not make hard feelings, and trying to only say nice things about the children and suggesting that maybe we can work this out over e-mail, or the phone, or later when the twins go to bed, or something, anything just so we can all go on this vacation together and perhaps relax and have fun. And over and over I'm hearing how we all have to accomodate the girls because after all they are children and they really are wonderful to be around...when they are behaving themselves, and how they deserve to be included as much as anyone. So really, we must include the children and not talk harshly to them, and not expect them to behave and they must in no way suffer the consequences of their actions because, after all, they are children.

Yes, when my husband said that it was a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. You mean we can go enjoy ourselves, as adults, without the children? Have conversations and listen to good music and drink a bottle of wine and just relax? Oh heaven....

So yes, no offense to the parents in this simile here. I love you guys, I love your company, I am eternally grateful for all the effort you put into trying to make this vacation work, you're always more than welcome to join us, but your kids are driving me nuts and I need a break.

No, I don't know what's going on.

For some odd reasons the posts look like the are bending around a picture, see, over there --->. No, I don't know why. I plan to e-mail the maker of this template and ask. In the meantime I plan to stop playing the perfectionist, not fiddle with the HTML, and ignore the problem.

Call me a romantic...

...or perhaps blame it all on PMS. Late I have been dying for romance. I'd give anything to be swept off my feet, carried off to the knights castle, be told he can't live without me, must have me, I'm the center of his universe, et cetera, ad nauseum. I'm not normally like this. I know my value in the universe, thank you very much, I don't normally need someone to prop my up emotionally. My usual requests for the knight is that he carry out the litter boxes for dumping and take care of the ookier jobs on the car, that sort of thing. But the past few weeks have been nuts. I keep wanting to make pastry and embroider things and read the old school classic romances. And the weepies, someone please turn off my faucet!

Why yes, I have been having trouble standing myself.

It doesn't help that I have adopted the most mushy, romantic role play character ever, and she has been turned upside down. She had been nearly engaged, on the verge of marrying her childhood sweetheart, when his player honestly admitted he couldn't play the sweetheart anymore, it just was not going to happen. No one else wanted that character, so the sweetheart was summarily killed off. This after for the past six months she has been adapting to suddenly losing her hearing, having surgery to fix a particularly nasty burn scar, having to re-grow out a shaved head, dealing with PTSD and depression, and thinking the feds were after her. Oh, the tragedy of it all, we top the soap operas every day. She and I have been mourning for weeks, right through PMS week. No wonder I've been crying buckets.

Enter my husband. My wonderful, wonderful husband.....

He took a look at the situation and noted that the sweetheart's player was also role playing relationships with two other women, who were not only whiny and needy characters, they were also whiny and needy players. Now I have never been know to be all that whiny and needy a player, I have a family, a support system, other interest and hobbies and so on, my life does not revolve around role play. From the sound of it, theirs does. And the player of the sweetheart has the love of his life at home, it's not like they're going to get anywhere. Not only that, but his one character is involved with both their characters, and the character he plays with them is a rough, rude, and crude street rat who's idea of romance is unusual at best.. They are never going to get what they want from him, either of them. But they will whine and cry and drive everyone nuts about it.

Anyway, the husband's conclusion was that, to use a cliché, that the squeakier wheels were getting the grease, and that I have been getting shafted, so he came back with "Kill the sweetheart off, once your character is over the grieving process I'll have my character fall in love with her, and we'll have all the romance and dedication she, and you, could ever want." His next moves were to take me to Barnes & Nobel so I could pick up copies of "Emma", "Sense and Sensibility", and "Pride and Persuasion", further assuaging my need for romance, to look the other way when I made calico book covers (because I am a fabric slut, any excuse to spread around the calico), and to take out the litter box.

Call me a romantic, but I think my husband in wonderful.

Restart

...here we go again.

What I finally posted on the subject

(Note - 02/21/2008 - The post was originally made on 02/04/06. I kept this post up because it states what I believe when it comes to child raising. And it's just as true now as it was then. These were responses to a debate on a board involving religion and homemaking. - AC)

These are the two posts I put on that board concerning corporal punishment. I'm just going to copy them here, since I'm still pretty upset. I posted the first the same day as my last post here, the second today. I'll talk about it all later.

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Earlier this year my husband, whom I met and married in the Pagan faith, decided to convert
to Catholicism. I have been following his lead, and re-exploring my faith. I have also been
exploring my role as a wife and homemaker. To that end I discovered the LAF site, and with
Mrs. Chancey's urging, came here to find fellowship for my roles as wife and Christian.

I tell you ladies this, if I honestly thought the Lord wanted me to beat my children for any
reason, I would return to Paganisim now, and I would take my children with me. If I thought
the Lord wanted me to treat them in such a way I would never allow them on church grounds
and I would banish the Bible from my home as a source of evil.

As it is, the thought that I was praying Old Testament prayers with my husband earlier this
evening is turning my stomach.

You see, during my time as a Pagan I also took up an alternative lifestyle. I spend many
years as part of the BDSM community. In fact, I still consider myself a member of that
community. As part of that lifestyle I experienced, as an adult, many of the disciplines
described in Lori's post. I have leaned against a wall while a paddle ("chastisement tools")
was applied to my bottom. I have taken cane (rod) strikes on the thighs. I have even been
whipped. I know firsthand how those punishments can hurt and humiliate. I have also learned
how to give such blows, safely, and without causing any permanent damage, to a fellow,
consenting adult.

The thought of doing so to a child is the single most evil and disgusting thing I have ever
heard.

If I had not been beaten and harmed as a child I may have never left the church. If I had
not been beaten and harmed as a child the desire to be hurt and humiliated my never have
become part of my sexuality. Most of those I know, from both communities, were beaten and
harmed as children, in the name of God.

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes
one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a
large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

Matthew 18: 5-6

To protect myself and my family I must leave this board. I still have not decided if I need
to leave the church as well.

Good by

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I am starting a seperate post on this topic. I felt it very important that this not become
lost in the shuffle of posts. The reasons will become clear.

Well, I am not entirely certain how to put this....

First off, after a long series of talks with my husband and our Priest, I have decided not
to leave the Catholic church. They have reassured me that our church does not endorse
corporal punishment in any way. And my husband and I have been reassured both by our
church, by careful reading of the Bible, and in prayer that our choosing not to practice
corporal punishment is correct.

My husband has challenged me to stay and provide and example to the ladies here whom I
believe have been misled. He pointed out that Jesus dined with prostitutes and tax
collectors, and other known to be sinners. He showed them mercy, and led by example.

(And no, I am not calling anyone here a prostitute or a tax collector. And just in case,
last I looked it was not a sin to work for the IRS :) )

I must say this. Out of respect for Mrs. C*** and Mrs. C*** I will not bring up the
subject. If it is brought up, I will express my feelings on the subject. I believe this
practice is sinful and evil. Sinful because it can lead a child to sin later in life, and
evil because it can drive a child away from their family and from God.


After a careful reading of the posts on the subject I believe our moderators disagree with
my beliefs on the subject. However, I do not believe they mean to silence all opposing
voices, only to try to discourage strife on this board. Again, I pledge not to bring up
this subject.

However...

You ladies must know that I am a volunteer with our local Sheriff's department. As such I
am what is known as a mandatory reporter. If I encounter a situation that I percieve to be
abusive, by law I must report it to the proper authorities. After a discussion today with
Sheriff W. I have been instructed to report any description of corporal punishment that I
consider to be excessive or abusive to our local cyber crimes unit and to cyberangels.org.
This will include screenshots of the topic thread. If either agency also finds that a child
may be in danger due to the actions described, they may track back the ISP and report it to
the appropriate police department for further investigation.

I know many of you ladies, and many others who believe that the Bible instructs you to
practice corporal punishment live in fear of Child Protective Services. This message is not
meant to cause you greater fear, but only to inform you of what my faith, my conscious, and
the law tells me I *must* do.

If the moderators feel they must ban me for this, then so be it.

Now, to the ladies who were so upset by my post the other day....

I know that I can stand before my husband, my Priest, and my God and clearly say that I have
never, and will never practice corporal punishment with any child. I feel no guilt or fear
from this decision, only a clear sense of peace in my heart. You seem to be quite fearful,
that your families will be destroyed, or that you will be persecuted, or that your faith
will be taken from you because of someone finding out that you practice corporal punishment.
Based only upon reading what you have written, and sensing the fear, panic, and guilt
behind your words I must suggest that you seek further prayer on this subject. I must
suggest that you question those teachers who have told you that this is Biblically correct,
and is the Will of God. And I must suggest that you seek to hear His voice on this subject.

Thank you for reading this.

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edited later

About 20 min after the second posting I was banned from the site.

My take: If they honestly believed what they were doing was complete just, right, and good why were they afraid to keep me around?

Boxes upon boxes

(Note - 02/21/2008 - The post was originally made on 01/28/06. I kept this post up because I think it has a moment of remarkable insight about my Mother. Something I should remember - AC)

So I've been helping Mother unpack her boxes. Boxes on top of boxes. She was living in a 950 sq ft house, and she has 180 boxes of varying sizes. That means a box of stuff for every 5 surface feet. And that assumes no furniture.

Much of it, at least half of it, is kitchen stuff. Three automatic coffee makers. Five manual coffee makers. A stand mixer, a hand-held mixer, a blender, a smoothie maker, a food processor. An electric frying pan. Two deep fryers. Innumerable spoons, spatulas, and gadgets. Three dozen pots of varying sizes. And on and on...

And she lives off of cold cereal, toasted waffles, sandwiches, and TV dinners.

What is compulsive shopping and spending?

People who "shop 'till they drop" and run their credit cards up to the limit often have a shopping addiction. They believe that if they shop they will feel better. Compulsive shopping and spending generally makes a person feel worse. It is similar to other addictive behaviors and has some of the same characteristics as as problem drinking (alcoholism), gambling and overeating addictions.

Compulsive shopping or spending can be a seasonal balm for the depression, anxiety and loneliness during the December holiday season. It also can occur when a person feels depressed, lonely and angry. Shopping and spending will not assure more love, bolster self-esteem, or heal the hurts, regrets, stress, and the problems of daily living. It generally makes these feelings worse because of the increased financial debt the person has obtained from compulsive shopping.

Mother has never had to feel the consequences of her addiction. Her father, Pop, has always bailed her out. She spend many years married to a man who abused both of us, in order to have access to his money and credit for more shopping. And she has racked up thousands of dollars in debt on her house, a problem she hopes to solve with this move. All the while her credit score remains excellent, while she fills her house many times over.

I used to feel bitter and angry over Mother's shopping habit. Here she was spending thousands, while the husband and I went through tough times. And I think I'd enjoy having some of the beautiful things she owns. But I have many intangibles she lacks. The love and respect of a good man, who knows I treat his belongings with care, and I am careful with his money. The love and respect of my community and my peers, who value me not for what I own, but for my willingness to volunteer and help those who truly need. Someday the love and respect of my children, who I hope will value me for the knowledge and hard earned wisdom I can share. Self respect, for I know I can survive and make a good life for myself and my family even in the toughest times. And most important, , faith, that there is a plan in all this, and that God actually does care about me, and will never truly let me fall. With that I don't need material goods to make me feel valued, or loved.

Those things cannot be bought, no matter how much you shop or spend. Not even at the finest kitchen stores.

Club Sandwich example #1 - the pants

(Note - 02/21/2008 - The post was originally made on 01/26/06. I kept this post up because it says so much about the relationships in my immediate family. - AC)

Last week my Mother made a major life transition. She moved aprox. 500 miles to live closer to my husband and I. This is the first time she's ever bought a house on her own, the first time she's lived away from our home town, her first major move. It's big, real big. On moving day, as the movers were packing 80+ years of family history and the result of Mother's shopping addiction (more on that later) into a semi, my Grandfather called her.

What he was thinking:

"You are going through a major transition, which will affect both our lives. I need to know that I will still be loved and respected after this transition,"

What he actually said:

"I've gained 20 pounds. Can you go buy me some pants. And they'll need to be shortened, too"

What she was thinking:

"This is a major transition in my life. I need to focus on my needs right now. I would like it if you could offer me some show of love and support at this time"

What she actually said:

"(&&^T^%#@#$$%^@#!)(*$%(*%^$!%*%#&%@(!*)!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What I was thinking:

"I love both of you, and I understand your needs for reassurances during this time of transition. I am here to offer you both my support, but in order to stay strong and healthy I also need to control my time and protect myself and my marriage from becomming overly focused on your needs. I will always love and support you both, but I must maintain my balance."

What I actually did:

I went to JCPenny.com and found Pop's pants. Cotton/poly, stain resistant, work-weight twill, flat front, dark neutrals, 42/28. It would have taken all day in a mall, it took 5 minutes online. While I was there I also found his preferred underwear and outerwear. They no longer carry his preferred shirt, but the manufacturer had a link to retailers on it's web page, and I found out who carries them in town. I then scored Pop's credit card from Mom, ordered 2 pair sent to my house, and told her I would shorten them and send them along. She could reimburse me for shipping at the end of the month.

Thereby reassuring Pop that his needs would still be met, and he would be loved and respected through this transition and beyond. Reassuring Mom that she would be cared for and respected by lifting a time burden from her and doing a job she is less able to do physically (she has arthritis as well, and hemming is a difficult chore for her) Protecting my marriage by doing all this on our swing shift schedule, so it won't cut into valuable husband time. And finally, caring for myself by using technology to save a lot of running around, and to record his preferences so I have less of a chore to repeat next time.