Everyone involved with the role play thing I posted about down there had been quite wonderful about it all. We're all trying to be helpful and accommodating, and trying to make it work so everyone has fun. I'm not knocking the sweetheart's player, or the one who is with him, or his administrative assistant there (she knows who she it)they've put a lot of effort into it all and I am very grateful.
But this is my blog, and I will share my opinion.
And in my opinion it's like trying to plan a vacation among friends when someone's two year old twins are having a tantrum in the middle of the room. You're trying to figure out how to have fun, hell even the planning is supposed to be fun, you've got the munchies and the bottle of wine and the maps and guide books, but these two year old twins are whining and screaming and carrying on and on and on...and eventually Mom and Dad have to take the two year old twins home and put thm to bed, thereby giving them *exactly* the attention they want. Which is the right thing, maybe, I suppose, but it does leave the childless couple, the husband and I, rather stuck. Our party this evening has been ruined, and since the two year old twins tends to start screaming every time their parents take their attention away, even to talk on the phone, it makes planning the vacation darn near impossible. And yes, at this point it looks like the twins will be coming along on the vacation with us.
At which point the husband looked at me and said the equivalent of "I know they're your friends, I like their company too, but you know they won't get a babysitter, and do you really want to put up with that? No hard feelings to them, they have to do what they think is right, but why don't we just go on this vacation just the two of us instead."
Now, I'm sitting here trying to keep everyone involved and not make hard feelings, and trying to only say nice things about the children and suggesting that maybe we can work this out over e-mail, or the phone, or later when the twins go to bed, or something, anything just so we can all go on this vacation together and perhaps relax and have fun. And over and over I'm hearing how we all have to accomodate the girls because after all they are children and they really are wonderful to be around...when they are behaving themselves, and how they deserve to be included as much as anyone. So really, we must include the children and not talk harshly to them, and not expect them to behave and they must in no way suffer the consequences of their actions because, after all, they are children.
Yes, when my husband said that it was a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. You mean we can go enjoy ourselves, as adults, without the children? Have conversations and listen to good music and drink a bottle of wine and just relax? Oh heaven....
So yes, no offense to the parents in this simile here. I love you guys, I love your company, I am eternally grateful for all the effort you put into trying to make this vacation work, you're always more than welcome to join us, but your kids are driving me nuts and I need a break.
1 comment:
"I love you guys, I love your company, I am eternally grateful for all the effort you put into trying to make this vacation work, you're always more than welcome to join us, but your kids are driving me nuts and I need a break."
This is the best kind of friend to have. One who is not afraid to speak her mind and be kind about it, nor to draw boundaries for herself so that later there are no hard feelings from her having silently suffered a situation she didn't like.
Multiples of children are exponentially more difficult.
This is true of literal and metaphorical children.
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