Better than I can say...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

You, Mr. Cheney, you terrified more Americans than did any terrorist in the last seven years, and now it is time for you to desist, or to be made to desist. With damnable words like these, Sir, you help no American, you protect no American, you serve no American — you only aid and abet those who would destroy this nation from within or without.

He's right. And may I point out...

Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort.

- The Constitution of the United States of America
Article III, Section 3

In the New York Times

An op-ed piece in today's New York Times...

Till Children Us Do Part
By Stephanie Coontz
Published: February 4, 2009

- snip -

Some couples plan the conception and discuss how they want to conduct their relationship after the baby is born. Others disagree about whether or when to conceive, with one partner giving in for the sake of the relationship. And sometimes, both partners are ambivalent.

The Cowans found that the average drop in marital satisfaction was almost entirely accounted for by the couples who slid into being parents, disagreed over it or were ambivalent about it. Couples who planned or equally welcomed the conception were likely to maintain or even increase their marital satisfaction after the child was born.

- snip -

Furthermore

Marital quality also tends to decline when parents backslide into more traditional gender roles. Once a child arrives, lack of paid parental leave often leads the wife to quit her job and the husband to work more. This produces discontent on both sides. The wife resents her husband’s lack of involvement in child care and housework. The husband resents his wife’s ingratitude for the long hours he works to support the family.

Now, imagine if you will that not only were one or both parents either ambivalent or giving in to the idea of conception after marriage, but that even entering into the marital relationship was based on the conception. That the whole relationship was based on that ambivalence. And while I know that some will consider using the term "backsliding" for choosing traditional gender roles to be derogatory, it is a good description for choosing those roles due to not making a choice in the matter.*

So there you are, a young man full of dreams and aspirations. Then the next day you have a stay at home wife and a baby to support. Now you're stuck with the first job you can get that pays the bills, no matter if you like it or not. You don't get to enjoy the fruits of your labor, it's all going to support the kid and that girl who's at home doing nothing to help. You may not even really like the woman you're married to, let alone love her or want to make a life with her. Your future is over, this is the rest of your life.

Or you're a young woman, also with dreams and goals. But now you're stuck at home 24/7 with a screaming baby, a man who resents every dime he gives you for the groceries, and no hope for escape. You may not even like him much, but now you're stuck sharing a bed and your body with him for the rest of your life.

In this situation it's human nature to take your anger and resentment out on someone, preferably someone more helpless than you, someone less likely to fight back. And there is the baby, screaming, smelly, sucking down every spare dime and then some. If it wasn't for that baby neither of you would be in this mess. And you can't even daydream your way out of it, it's there in the house with you, demanding constant attention.

This, this, is why I say that conservative Christians tend to make lousy parents. Every one I have talked to so far started their marriages out in exactly this way. And while they all say "spare the rod and spoil the child", "My child is strong-willed.", "A father must take dominion", "I'm training my child up in God's way", and so on, it all amounts to the same thing. It's always your child's fault that you're so miserable. If only your child wouldn't misbehave do things that demanded attention.

It's not your child's fault, it didn't ask to be born. Nor did it come into this world specifically to ruin your life. Your parents and your church did that. They didn't teach you the facts about human sexuality, including ways to deal with your hormones that don't result in pregnancies. They didn't insist on adoption as an option.** This has nothing to do with the child at all.

This is also why I believe that the two groups in this world who make excellent parents are infertile couples and homosexual couples. In both cases each and every child is well and truly planned for, and so any situation that can lead to resentment can be worked out in advance. I currently am lose to one couple who dealt with infertility and one homosexual family and I can only hope and pray that my husband and I turn out to be half as good parents as either of them.

Even the NY Times gets it.

------

* While I don't believe that "traditional gender roles" are necessarily necessary, I do believe that households function better if *someone* is managing things at home. This could be the female partner, male partner, one half of a homosexual couple, a grandparent or other relations, someone who manages a number of families in a cooperative situation, or someone hired for the job. I've seen all of the above work well. It just matters that *someone* do the job. Just because my particular family happens to fall into traditional roles does not mean I think it's the only way to go.

Yes, I know of many, many families where all the adults work full time. While it's clearly doable, and it does work, in my opinion it doesn't work quite as well as when someone is home. Managing a home with children is a full time job, period. When all the adults are already working one full time job and they each have to take on a second part-time, or more often one has to take on a second full-time, everything naturally suffers. Just as it would if they were taking on a second, paid job outside of the house. I can only admire the people who can work two jobs like that and make it all function, I couldn't do it.

** At one point I volunteered, for all of one afternoon, at a very Christian crisis pregnancy center. No, I don't remember why. I do, however, remember being told that counseling the girls about adoption as an option was strictly forbidden because "If God meant for them to have that baby, He meant for them to raise that baby." Which was why I left.

(As an aside, if God meant for that baby to be in the world, and born to that mother, wouldn't it be more appropriate to tell your Christian youth to follow every urge to procreate? Aren't those urges your omniscient, omnipotent God calling two people to a specific place and time to make that baby? Or is it just too politically damaging to admit that you are pro-irresponsible sex, since that allows you to populate your cult from within your God to make as many babies as he likes.

No, really, someone explain how pre-marital sex is bad, but every pregnancy is wanted by God, and yet you can't have one without the other? Wouldn't purity pledges and abstinence and just saying no directly contravene God's will? I mean, since He wants those babies so badly?)

Rot from within

Found in the directory of CAPITA, at the School of Engineering, Washington University, via Google

--------

Now, everyone go here. Read this.

Blackwater: Guns for Hire or Trojan Horsemen?

Could not to a better job than Cynthia did. Could not. Thank you for this.

More on Blackwater

Wikipedia
The New York Times

Not exactly

Everyone says we should help these home owners...livers, I guess. In this one she admits she...

a) Didn't consult a lawyer before signing her loan paperwork
b) Didn't read her loan paperwork
c) Stopped making her mortgage payments

So, we should reward you for being stupid? Sorry, I'm not down with that. I'm not down with giving homes to stupid people. The one thing I would allow is that they be allowed to rent their first apartment with no credit check. Then re-sell the house at the price from, oh, about ten years ago. Or whatever year right before the bubble started.

That way those of us who weren't stupid enough to sign paperwork we didn't read could have a shot.

------

Yes, I'm back.

Yes, we can.

November 4, 2008 by Patrick Moberg

A brillant quote

From Sarah Robinson, who says the important things much better than I ever could

Schools get paid by the day for every student sitting in their seats. This kind
of stupidity will come to a quick halt when the district realizes that it's
going to bounce back and hit them squarely on their own bottom line.

Just add your definition of stupidity and apply as needed.

Something to chew on

An article in the New York Times on Mars Hill Church, Pastor Mark Driscoll and “this new, aggressive, mission-minded Calvinism that really believes Calvinism is a transcript of the Gospel,” that has become so popular. And which, I believe, is the underpinnings of the Patriocentric movement.

Who would Jesus smack down?

Enjoy. I'm out for a couple of weeks.

Another round of Christian Tolerance

From the Denver Post:

Eldora gunman targeted non-Christians

By Howard Pankratz

BOULDER — Derik Bonestroo's confrontation with fellow workers at Eldora Mountain Resort appeared to be a well-planned scheme to kill co-workers who were not Christian, according to investigators from the Boulder County Sheriff's Office.

Bonestroo's "demeanor and tactical style clothing" had all the indications that the 24-year-old Bonestroo carefully planned the face-to-face showdown, according to documents filed Wednesday in Boulder District Court.

That morning, the 6-foot- 2-inch, 200-pound-plus lift operator drove to Eldora Mountain Resort, where a number of lift operators had gathered for an assignment meeting in the pump house.

One of the employees at the meeting, April Wilson, told investigators that Bonestroo walked in dressed in black, carrying a gun, and fired into the ceiling, according to the documents.

He then declared: "If you're not Christian, you're going to die," Wilson said.

At that point, Wilson said, everybody started running out the back door to get away. As she ran into the woods, the 24-year-old Wilson heard an additional four or five shots.

According to an earlier news report, the victim had a wife and two pre-teen daughters, and was an active member of both the community and the local Catholic church.

What do you see?

I see a couple clearly in love and committed. Enough that they would start a business together as well as a family.

I see a family that has chosen to have children, meaning they believe that they are in a good situation and that wanted a child.

I see a boy who was not an accident, who did not force his parents to marry, who will never be resented for his presence.

In short, I see a loving, wholesome, happy family. Far more so than every Christian, hetero couple I've ever met.

And yes, I called Swanson and told them so. I hope they show couples like this in their ad, and other companies follow suit. This is what a healthy family looks like, regardless of the genders of the adults.

It's still the crazy season

In my house the crazy season starts the week before Thanksgiving, when I get the Holiday Binder down and make my list for the big dinner. Two weeks later is the big hospital fundraiser, then three weeks after that is Krismas, with all the gifts and decorating in between. A week to New Years, and then two weeks after that we board the California Zephyr (seen above) to go spend two weeks in Colorado with my in-laws.

This year I added several doctors appointments to that mix, a tentative diagnosis of diabetes for me, with more testing to come, and a dear friend who has been/is both moving and changing jobs over the holiday.

Yes, it has been insane around here. And it's not over yet.

I'll be back to regular updating as soon as I can.