Positive Secular encouragement

Unlike the religious world, which tends to put women into a specific small box (You're a homeschooling homemaker, preferably with no college education, and you have a perfect house, family, menu, car, marriage, health and figure. If you're not, we don't want to hear it. And if you don't hide it well enough we will call you apostate and kick you out of our perfect church.) the secular world tends toward practical encouragement for all of a woman's choices. I've found women who don't put their mythology first and foremost to be far more understanding of the trickier times in life, like when you have to work and raise kids, or take care of elders as well as try to homeschool kids, or have health problems. Or just feel tired or burned out or confused. See, we don't consider bad times a sign of sin, or being non-elect, or being on the wrong side of a mythic deity. We just see them as part of life, things that can happen to any of us at any time, and that it makes the world a better place if we help each other along the way.

To that end, and to counter the negative vibe this place tends to take on at times, I'd like to present from time to time, some of my favorite, secular, homemaking information sources. And here are two:

1) The Vicky & Jen show. Talk about a positive, encouraging hour of listening. Recent topics include :

• #91 Kids and Drugs: Addiction Proof Your Child
• #89 Simple Self-Care
• #85 Elder Care Made Easier
• #73 Simple Safety Series: Girls Fight Back
• #66 Making Peace With Your Body
• #57 Kids and Sex: Covering the Bases with Logan Levkoff

They also feature The Big O series, with organizing expert Monica Ricci and the Ask-A-Chef series with Chef Devin Alexander. Fabulous, wonderful stuff, all of it. It does come with commercials, but no one ever crumbled from a ten second commercial for paper towels or breakfast cereal. And their theme music is a bit depressing, although not offensive and she does have a lovely voice. You can even subscribe in iTunes and listen while you do your chores. Highly recommended.

2) OrganizedHome.com. Tips and articles on how to clean your house, organize your kitchen, deal with clutter and the kids and even how to set up a household notebook. Without bible quotes no less! And their sister site, OrganizedChristmas, is the best thing ever to help you survive the holidays.

For example, ever notice how some years it seems like there's no time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and sometimes Christmas runs awfully late? That's because Thanksgiving is a floating holiday, the last Thursday in November. So depending on how the weeks fall you can have anywhere from three to five weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. How big of a pain is that to organize? Either you have to cram everything in, or it all drags on and you don't have enough to keep the kids happy. Well, here's a tip I learned from that site: Christmas is a fixed holiday, it's always on the 25th. What's the first fixed holiday before it? Yep, Halloween, on October 31st. Starting your organizing on the 1st of November gives you exactly 8 weeks to work with every time. For more great tips, and a Christmas binder too, check the site.

3) Doc's Secular Homeschool Resources - A set of homeschool plans and resources set in the reality based community. Excellent resources for those who want to explore different cultures, find evolutionary theory to be true, recognize that the world existed before the bible, and want their children to function in all of modern society. She unschooled her four, now happy, functional adult children, which isn't something the husband and I plan to do, but I can't deny the results. Fantastic stuff for all kinds of homeschoolers.

Hope this helps. I'll keep adding stuff as I find it.

Another reason to reject organized Christianity

photo © Daniel Steger for openphoto.net CC:Attribution-ShareAlike

Talk to sex abuse counselors and you will be shocked. Church is one of the safest places for predators. Pedophiles are known to even go to the pastor of a church and tell them their history. Of course the pastor has to keep the confidence (he thinks) because the guy says he is repentent. Over time, the pedophile abuses, leaves and seeks another church to do the same thing. Some pastors think they can’t even warn the other churches!

As to pastors and staff abusing…think about it…all we hear these days is about their ‘authority’, “office” and their special ‘anointing’ as men of God. The kid sees how the parents respect and honor the special ‘authorities’…so what kid is going to talk under those conditions? It is a perfect environment for a predator.

- Screen name Lynn

She makes a good point. After all, if you're repentant, or if you've confessed, or if you've given your sin over to God, or whatever you want to call it, the priest or pastor can't say a thing to warn anyone. And the rule of "touch not my anointed" protects priests and pastors and deacons and everyone else in a church leadership.But she's also forgetting the rule of "Once saved, always saves." Which means it doesn't matter to God if you rape little kids, you're saved. You're going to heaven anyway.

But the people who turn to the secular world, to CPS and the courts and the media, well, they're not following Matthew whatever the verse is They're not applying good biblical methodology. They might even be apostate, or whatever it's called, and not even be truly saved. They're just not Christian.

Now, I will grant you I have met some truly good and responsible Christian people, mostly through the forum where I found that quote. But nearly all of them have been good and responsible at one time or another by going against their church. And if you read their stories, all of them were told that their actions were unbiblical and unchristian, whether it was to leave an abusive husband or to stop a child predator or to have surgery to save their own lives so they could live to raise their surviving children. And all of them have stores about how remarkably good and kind the secular world has been to them at those difficult times. And yet their church, their faith, is still so wonderful, better than anything secular. It's a huge blind spot from what I can see.

Let's face it folks, all Christianity, and all organized religion is, is a giant Get Out Of Jail Free card, an excuse to do whatever you want to whoever you want, and your great mythological deity in the sky will forgive and forget every time. And when those of us out here in the secular world, who actually expect you to behave like am adult and a decent citizen call you on your actions, either by actually expecting you to take that bundle of joy home and be responsible for it or moving your children to a safe home or by sending you to prison, then we're persecuting you and you'll just be that much more rewarded in heaven.

Why is it that the secular world can't stand you? Because you use your deity like a crutch to keep from growing up and taking responsibility for your own lives, let alone trying to make the world a better place. And you end up leaving a wake of ruined lives behind you. We're the ones who have to pay for your poor after they send all their money to the preacher. We're the one who have to look after your kids after you abuse them for ruining your lives when you gave the responsibility to that mythic deity and he didn't come through. We're the victims when you decide to steal or rape or go shooting up a liberal, secular church.

And then you say you're a Christian, and you're forgiven and you're saved?

And you wonder why we're sick of you?

For more, go here.

http://stopbaptistpredators.org/index.htm
http://www.snapnetwork.org/

Another good Christian

Independent, Bible-believing, God- fearing, Saved by the blood of Jesus, and so on and so on....

When I was 17 I got pregnant with my daughter...., when I was 18 I married her father.

...and sexually irresponsible, can't keep her legs together.

I'm telling you the two go together.

On books

photo © Adrian van Leen for openphoto.net CC:PublicDomain

And not just these books.

Candy over at Keeping The Home, honestly one of the strangest women out there, recently said that she was re-organizing her home and putting in a new bookshelf because if she didn't the books would "take over her house". I would give you a direct quote but she doesn't keep links to her archives up. See, people tend to call her on her bullsh*t, which is hard to refute if people can c&p your exact words.

Anyway, in the corner of her living room she has a 6 shelf case which is half full of videos and plants, and she just put in what looks like a sunscreen display rack, which from the way she describes it, mostly holds her bible collection.

She also keeps this long book list on her blog, supposedly to show how well read she is. Mostly non-fiction at the junior high level, many of which she's reading for the umpteenth time through.

Needless to say, I'm not impressed.

I also seriously doubt she's really reading the more difficult fiction. Don Quixote was "funny"? Spare my ___

I'm concerned because she has her own little cult of Candy-ites going on there, who follow her every suggestion and recommendation like it came down from On High. I'm concerned that these young women and their daughters are going to look at her and think that that is the higest you can be, the best you can do.

It's not. And reading is my personal bugaboo.

Let me show you what a well-read house looks like






















This is what you see when you first come into my house. I can't really say what's where, but a lot of the hardcover fiction lands here.































This is the case beside my desk. Mostly sewing and knitting books, books on homekeeping, and some inspirational fiction.
















The case in the dining room, the one the husband made. All paperback fiction. In the desk beside it are the first editions and leather bounds. I want an all leather-bound library someday.


And I am going to stop there because Blogger is giving me fits about the pictures. We have cookbooks in the kitchen, non-fiction in the office (see those two in the first picture? We have two more of each in the office. Full.) romance by the bed, a full set of encyclopedias, some stashed in closets, some still out in the garage in boxes...the list goes on.

So I guess you could say they have taken over the house.

And before you ask, I've read about 80% of them. I haven't read all the husband's technical manuals or all the encyclopedias. I have read all the fiction.

In a house full of real readers, the books take over. They're friends, you can't just put them out.

And reading the bible over and over and over does not make you a real reader. Sorry.

If you want to read more blogs by some real readers I recommend the very secular Doc and the more religious Dawn.

Now if anyone would like to start a reading challenge, put it in the comments and we'll see what happens.

----

By the way, I know I have people reading, I can see you on Feedjit over there. So comment already, will ya!

Bone deep angry

I have never been this kind of angry.

When I was in the eight grade someone decided to donate dental floss for all the kids at school. Some of the idiots in my class decided to play with it at recess, making a mess and almost getting people hurt. My girlfriend and I avoided them, because they were being stupid. After recess the teacher read us all the riot act, then told whoever had been out there playing with dental floss to go clean it up. We sat there. We saw no need to volunteer for punishment, we hadn't been stupid.

I didn't buy a house I couldn't afford. I had enough brains to ask the mortgage people straight, simple question and when they couldn't give me straight, simple answers I walked away. I was not stupid. Now not only are my tax dollars going to clean up the mess but it's also going to reward the bankers. I have to pay for someone else's dental floss.

Time to suck it up, take the pain and the lesson, and move on. Those of us who are responsible will buy your house on the other side. We didn't screw up, we do *not* deserve the punishment. We're going to sit here and chat while you clean up your own mess.

I'm going to do it anyway too

Since nobody tagged me either, here you go. I found this one over at Dawn's

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Remodeling my grandparent's house. New floor, new paint, new wiring, new a lot of things. At the same time teaching in a year-round school in the worst possible part of town. But let's not go there, that's still a sore spot for me.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today:

• Hang laundry
• Wash dishes
• Wash and fold the towels
• Finish the outer layer of the cherry tea cozy
• Make the menu for August

3. Snacks I enjoy:

• Tea and scones
  
• Red peppers and ranch dip (I have to agree with Dawn on this one)
  
• Kettle corn
  
• Double chocolate oatmeal cookies
  
• Tuna melts (all right, that's a lunch. We don't snack that much here.)
  

4. Things I would do if I were a billionare:

• Buy that 9 acre chunk of land and build a house an a small farm on it
  
• Buy health insurance so the husband could go to school full time
  
• Adopt.
• Set some retirement funds aside for Mother's long term care
  
• Visit New England, and friends out there
  

5. Places I have lived:

• Monterey, CA
• Fresno, CA
• Carmel, CA
• Pacific Grove, CA
• Medford, OR

And who am I tagging?

Whoever wants it, just point me when you're done.

A validation of the work of women

photo © Sarah Klockars-Clauser for openphoto.net CC:Attribution-ShareAlike

Everyone go read the Harlot today.

Shoo, go.

On abortion and birth control pills

photo © Darren Hester for openphoto.net CC:Attribution-NonCommercial

Found on Salon.com

The Bush administration wants to require all recipients of aid under federal health programs to certify that they will not refuse to hire nurses and other providers who object to abortion and even certain types of birth control." It is worth restating: The administration wants to ensure that recipients of federal health funding -- including women's clinics -- cannot deny employment based on a refusal to perform abortions or distribute birth control.

The proposal could potentially redefine birth control as abortion. The proposal classifies abortion as "any of the various procedures -- including the prescription, dispensing and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action -- that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation." That last part is critical because some argue that hormonal birth control and emergency contraception can prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg.

Now I am firmly against abortion. I believe that if you are stupid enough not to use a condom, and you have yet to figure out that mutual masturbation, dildos and vibes will gain you the same net effect, without any disease or pregnancy risk at all you shouldn't take your stupid out on the kid. Step up to the plate, suffer the nine months, and then put the kid up for adoption. And don't give me that "My hear will break after carrying it nine months and then giving it away." Like killing it is so much easier. At least it will be alive somewhere and I can tell you now it will be with a family that loves it.

No, I think this is a stupid idea coming out of the Bush administration simply because it violates the right of privacy of every woman who ever had to take female hormones for any reason. Picture it, you're standing in line at Wal-Mart, and you have to explain to the Fundamentalist pharmacist, who took that job knowing he would have to do something against his religion and just wanted to make a political point, a strange man, that you're taking hormones to keep from having a miscarriage. Or to treat cancer. Or to regulate your period. Or to ease the symptoms of menopause. And knowing the type, you might have to explain to him that you're married, and faithful to your husband.

Yes, you always wanted to discuss your sex life with a stranger in front of everyone in Wal-Mart, now, didn't you?

I didn't think so.

And what if he says no? What if there's no place else to get that prescription? I'm planning to take progesterone to try to prevent a miscarriage when we try for children again. If he refuses, he'd be killing my unborn child. Does that mean I can accuse him of murder? Would that give me my baby back?

Someone needs to remind these people that doctors are the ones who should be helping women make these decisions, on a case by case business. Not politicians.

This says something

photo © Michael Jastremski for openphoto.net CC:Attribution-ShareAlike

I openly admit that I didn't do things in the right order. I'm not proud that I got pregnant--twice--out of wedlock.

I too had a child prior to getting married, isn't grace wonderful!

One of the hurdles both my husband and I had to overcome, was that we were both fornicators before we got saved and married.

I had a child prior out of marriage prior to being saved too.

I also had 2 children out of wedlock and was married 7 years ago the end of this month. I also had one of those children when I was 16.

my Hubby and I "lived in sin" before we got married.

I could find more, I'm looking for more.

It just seems like there is a progression here. People who follow/once followed the Pearls/Patriocentricity/extreme complimentarianisim all start out with unwanted children they have "trouble controlling". And they all have trouble controlling their own sexuality. If they didn't, they wouldn't have gotten pregnant before they were ready.

You know, I hate to say it's a question of maturity, of knowledge, but it sure looks that way to me. I expect my role models and my deities to be, well, better at things than I am, and I as a Pagan (back then) and Liberal (still) and frankly member of a very sex positive set (yep, still), I still managed to keep my legs together. Apparently all these good, church-going women simply could not say no, but I could sit in the middle of a sex club and have no problem turning it down. And some of, no all, of the most amazing parents I have ever seen are gay and lesbian, who clearly planned for and wanted every child. Planning your family matters, this is quite clear to me. It simply makes you a better, more patient parent.

Another break in the glass, if it was this important to this deity, he would find a way over time to get his followers to live by what they preached. When you look at the actions, not the words or the books, being Conservative and Christian means having as many babies as possible, regardless of marital state, and being irresponsible about sexuality. Which is just not something I can hold with. All this "God forgives all sins and gives grace without works" is just an excuse to be irresponsible, really. If God wasn't going to forgive you, how would you behave?

I'll add more quotes as I find them.

Fat Rant #3 by Joy Nash